Movie Chat

Deathly Hallows: Part Deux

by sarahenni on December 21, 2011

[Posted originally July 18, 2011] So—it’s been more than 72 hours since the final installment of the Harry Potter & Friends film franchise debuted. I think we can safely say that the polite period of silence has passed, and it’s time for a spoiler-packed post discussing the film!

Overall I really enjoyed it, and I thought it struck an appropriate emotional tone to cap off the series. But of course, as I am a highly opinionated person, I have some thoughts on where the film succeeded, and where some choices left me scratching my head.

The Split I think the first film of The Deathly Hallows must have been the driver for when to split the two films. Deathly Hallows Part I took a somewhat meandering, action-less portion of the film and created a beautiful story arc about a friendship. Harry, Hermione, and Ron were tested beyond their limits, then their friendship was redeemed by selfless action and the ultimate sacrifice of a Free Elf. It was a whole story, driven by an emotional arc and the theme of the entire series: the power of friendship.

But that left this movie with little to build a similar arc around. David Yates & Co. had two hours’ worth of essential plot points (Gringotts, Aberforth, Diadem, Snape revelations, Harry’s death, showdown) that left little room for a cohesive emotional story to develop, or for the audience to get much of a break from the heightened intensity. In the second half of the book our favorite characters are still unsure of their plan, surrounded by chaos and confusion. And the same goes for the viewer, which makes this movie great, but also a more challenging watch.

Our Favorites McGonagall was amazing, and was given one of the only lighthearted moments in the film (“I’ve always wanted to do that spell!”). Her battle with Snape was fantastic—McGonagall whipping out hardcore attack spells and Snape defending—and it’s a testament to how well Maggie Smith portrayed the character that, when McGonagall starts to look genuinely scared we realize the shit is really going down.

However! One major problem I had with the screenplay was after Voldemort gives the Hogwarts crew the “give me Harry or die” ultimatum and Pansy Parkinson cries out for someone to grab Harry. In the film McGonagall says, “All Slytherins, get out!” (Paraphrasing a bit, here.) That was nothing short of a disastrous choice of dialogue. In the book McGonagall asks Pansy to lead the Slytherins out of the castle, to be followed by all the other houses. Every first year is evacuated, regardless of house. But when asked if some could stay to fight, McGonagall says any of-age wizard can stay behind. Of course that leads to the redemption of several members of Slytherin house, including Professor Slughorn. Leaving the quote as-is in the movie makes Slytherin a house filled with irredeemably bad wizards, which belies oh, you know, the entire point of the whole series.

I loved the Snape revelations. To be honest, all that information was a total infodump in the books, so the short and effective pensieve sequence was perfect. Of course Alan Rickman was devastating. Seeing him emote while wearing Snape’s robes was a bit shocking, to be honest, and his death slayed me. (Though I don’t quite understand the choice to have his tears hold memories, instead of… you know, a memory? I was like, “why is Harry scooping up his tears, this is awkward.”)

I ship this so hard.

Luna freaking Lovegood was amazing, per usual. But my favorite thing had to be when she stopped on the stairwell and shouted, “Harry Potter you stop right now and listen to me!” How many times did we wish someone would say that to Harry in the books?! He could be such an arrogantly myopic wanker. And the whole, “I’ve got the hots for Luna” revelation by Neville in the Battle? Totally not part of HP Canon (Neville marries Hannah Abott) but I dig it so much. These two are such badasses.

The kiss!! It was awesome. The timing was fantastic (duh who wouldn’t want a kiss after a near death-by-water-basilisk moment?) and of course these two were adorable.

The Battle of Hogwarts It was INTENSE, and the filmmakers made some necessary changes. The book’s version of events is, more or less, a string of blow-by-blow duels. For the film, though, it was important to give a visual context of how the castle was being attacked. For the most part those sweeping shots of Voldemort and his pale-faced avengers overlooking the castle (and the army of wood brogues led by a Johnny-Depp-as-Captain-Jack wannabe storming the bridge) replaced any duel scenes. I understand that, and thought it was successful for the most part.

However, in my opinion, that choice kept the film from mirroring the book Battle’s brutality. When I read the battle scenes for the first time I sat straight up, mouth agape, totally horrified by the uncurbed violence. It was abattle, for doxies’ sake. The film seemed much more detached. Not showing Fred’s death was a decision I don’t entirely disagree with, but it certainly was a glaring absence. And the one major duel that the film did choose to highlight—Molly Weasley striking down evil witches like a BAMF—was short, and lacked the savagery I remember from the book.

Another thing I thought noteworthy about the duels was the lack of verbal spells. In my opinion, it was incredibly important for us to see Molly Weasley use the Avada Kedavra spell, and Harry choose not to. When Molly annihilates Bellatrix using the most unforgivable of curses, we cheer along. We are a party to the bloodshed, as responsible for the destruction as anyone rooting for the other side. That’s crucial to the reader & viewers’ role in the series. And it’s equally crucial for us to see Harry use expelliarmus, his old first year fall-back spell, as the ultimate undoing for Voldy. The dichotomy is important, and I don’t think the film highlighted it well enough.

Voldemort’s Death Though it was a bit underwhelming, it was wholly accurate to the book. So props for authenticity on that one. But that leaves the best Voldemort battle, by far, as the showdown between he and Dumbledore in The Order of the Phoenix. THAT battle had all the elements I hoped to see more of in this film’s duels: tremendous acting, creative visual displays of magic, and cruelty and fierceness in equal measure.

The Epilogue We’re all pretending this didn’t happen, right?

The filmmakers had quite the high-pressure gig trying to get this story told properly, and I’d say that overall they did a fantastic job. I was crying and laughing, and it made me want to reread all the books—and isn’t that truly the point?

So, what about you?? Do you agree with my rambles? What did I get completely wrong? Also—big question: I maintain that there’s no way this film could be someone’s “favorite” Harry Potter film. Dr F vehemently disagrees. I made another blog post about it. What do you think??

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The Deathly Hallows

by sarahenni on December 20, 2011

[Originally Posted Nov. 22 2010] If you spent this weekend doing anything besides seeing the Deathly Hallows, I sincerely hope something large with sharp fangs was holding you back. The über-anticipated first half of the Harry Potter finale came out on Friday, and Dr Fiance and I saw it with a (bizarrely not packed) theater of HP-lovers, and on the whole I think we both enjoyed it quite a bit. Below, my (spoiler-packed) thoughts on the film.

The Split I was really eager to see how the filmmakers decided to split the seventh book. It must have been agonized over, and I think the final decision was very well done. However, the first half must have been extraordinarily difficult to translate to film as — though our heroes destroy the locket horcrux, go to Godirc’s Hollow, and escape from the Malfoys — nothing really happens. The first half of the book is all build-up. The dynamics between Harry, Ron, and Hermione get twisted and brought nearly to (perhaps beyond?) the breaking point. Voldemort gains the upper hand and the magical world devolves into outright danger, but since we’re in Harry’s head we barely see any of it. In short, the first half of the book was much better suited to be a book. This filmmakers had a tremendous challenge, but I think they lived up to it.

(However, David Yates is still on my ‘naughty’ list for the sixth movie, which was undoubtedly the weakest and in which he flagrantly made shit up like having the Burrow explode into flames which, though I know Jo Rowling approved, was still appallingly bizarre. Etc., etc., I could go on for days. Another blog post maybe.)

Setting The film must have been absurdly challenging for any audience members who have not read the books. For so many reasons, this film would be the most difficult to understand or appreciate unless you knew the details that Yates & Co. merely hinted at, or showed in not-explicit ways (the mirror; the ‘Snatchers’; the radio program). One of the most disorienting things about the seventh book and movie was the lack of Hogwarts. The school, and the castle itself, has served as setting (and a character in and of itself) for the entire series. In Deathly Hallows Part I, not only do our heroic trio never set foot on castle grounds, we never hear anything about what is going on there. And without the castle and the structure of a school year, it was difficult to get a sense of the passage of time.

However, that served a distinct purpose in the book and the film. Our characters are lost and disoriented, too. The different scene locations that Yates & Co. used (misty English forests, the underside of a run-down bridge) were not only gorgeously shot, they were also used effectively to mirror the emotions of our hopeless, confused trio.

Character Development Hermione was the emotional story arc of the film, and it was executed ridiculously well by both David Yates and Emma Watson. From the opening scene, where she nearly broke my heart with her emotional restraint, to the reunion with Ron (come on, Emma, you can swing a rucksack harder than that!), Emma Watson was the core of the story progression. She was at her weakest (withdrawn and disconsolate after Ron left), and at her strongest (refusing to betray her friends and their mission even while Bellatrix carved rude words into her arm).

That was the true story of the first half – our characters were tested and brought to rock bottom. But, in the end, they are reinvigorated with the true sense of friendship that has gotten them through every scrape they’ve been in before. (And that sets us up for Part II, in which they have a renewed sense of purpose and do incredible BAMFy things like fly on dragons and OMFG I am so excited.)

Lovey-Dovey Whereas in The Half-Blood Prince I felt that David Yates’ attempts to illustrate the group’s growing romantic tensions were clunky and heavy-handed (Ginny bending over to tie Harry’s shoe? Really?gag), I thought this time around was subtle and touching. The opening shot after the first night in 13 Grimmauld Place, with Hermione and Ron’s hands barely touching, was lifted right from the book, and was all we needed to see to get an accurate sense of their budding romantic feelings. (I totally swooned.)

Minor Characters Shine Some of our favorite non-trio characters (Snape, Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood, Draco Malfoy) had only fleeting scenes in Part I. However, each one of them really maximized their screen time. Most especially, IMO, Snape and Draco. Alan Rickman (an absolute genius, per usual) gave such a subtle performance (doesn’t he always?) and his expression when he saw his Hogwarts co-worker floating above him, begging for help, was completely devastating. And Tom Felton (looking increasingly attractive off-screen, might I add) was brilliant in evoking Draco’s growing internal struggle between begrudging loyalty to/fear for Voldemort and increasing understanding and respect for Harry.

So… Sorry to be overly verbose (as is my wont) but those are my main take-aways from the movie. In fact, after writing this post and thinking even more about it, I enjoyed the film very, very much. What about you? What did you think?

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What to Expect in Breaking Dawn II?

by sarahenni on November 28, 2011

Okay, I swear this will be the last Twilight/Breaking Dawn related post I’ll write in … well, at least a week. But on opening weekend, whilst in the grip of Le Saga Vampîre, I picked up on some hints of what might be waiting for us in Breaking Dawn Part II and they’re so juicy I had to share.

Frankly, what is going to happen in BDII is anyone’s guess, as Billy Condon and the Summit team basically condensed everything that drives the plot of the book and laid it all out in the first movie. That leaves the bare second half of Breaking Dawn, a meandering mélange of wish fulfillment, imprint angst, and a climax-free battle scene with nary a relevant plot point in sight. In fact, RPatz himself summed up the challenges facing screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg and Condon in the second film:

Have sex, demon baby. No, they get married first, demon baby, Jacob falls in love with the little baby [laughs], then everyone tries to kill each other, but nothing happens. Oh, that’s the second one [laughs even harder].

RPatz, in yer fandom, trollin’ like crazy

On the other hand, having such vague non-events to work with for a full two hours means there might be a little (or a lot) of wiggle room to depart from the book. In fact, I have reason to believe that will be the case, based on some hints that my friend Lindsay and I picked up on when we saw Breaking Dawn. Namely, there were some subtle indicators that our little Vampire series might be going the way of another band of questionable misfits stuck in a world where they didn’t belong…

The LOST moments we found in Breaking Dawn:

If we’re right, then Twilight fans are in for a helluva ride. Here are some story lines BDII might incorporate to improve on its lackluster source material by incorporating cues from LOST.

 

(Warning: Super mega spoilers for both Breaking Dawn and LOST ahead.)

 

The Cullens & Co. stumble upon to THE OTHERS, a clan of scraggly vamps who have been living outside of Port Angeles this whole time. Disheveled and generally unkempt, they kidnap Alice for fashion advice.
With the help of “Crazy Baby Eyes” Rosalie they also snatch Renesmee up and frisk her away on a boat—despite the fact that “Renesmee” is so much less satisfying to scream than “Walt!” Then Bella then goes feral over the kidnapping, freaking everyone out beyond all reckoning with a Heart of Darkness-style descent into jungle madness.
Then! The existence of vampires is revealed to be a twisted Dharma Initiative experiment when an undead Pierre Chang shows up in a submarine.
Chang explains that the Cullens can keep the rest of the world from sucuumbing to the allure of an eternity in a sparkly, immortal LL Bean catalogue by hitting a button every 108 minutes. Naturally, the Cullens elect Jasper to dedicate the rest of his existence to this boring task since, you know, he wasn’t really doing anything useful around here anyway.
And, a twist that is actually less twisty because it’s kind of already happening. Maggie Grace, as Shannon on LOST, got cozy with Sayid. Then she was cast as Irina, who was shacking up with Laurent in Alaska. So, yet again we’re being asked to believe that she mysteriously seduced the most badass character with her wiles of vacant expressions and general annoyingness.
Since Irina is the meddling Vampire Benedict Arnold who calls foul with the Volturi once she spots Edward and Bella’s demonbaby, it’d be great to see Aro suddenly, and as inexplicably as Sayid and Laurent, fall madly in love with her. Then, just like in LOST, her execution-style death would be a welcome relief, and a springboard for even more unhinged craziness. Everyone wins!

 

What do you think?? Did anyone else pick up on these hints? What other wacky crap from Flight 815 could be incorporated to spice up BDII?

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Breaking Dawn

by sarahenni on November 22, 2011

Well, the weekend—and thus the unofficial official moratorium on discussing the details of Breaking Dawn—has passed. THANK GOODNESS because I have so many THOUGHTS and FEELINGS to share with you on Le Saga Vampîre!

In my heart of hearts, I really didn’t think this movie was going to happen. Seriously. That book. Everything that happens in it. I figured movie studios/directors would run away screaming. But money overcomes all obstacles, and it was made, and lo! it was ridiculous and awesome. Honestly, it felt like the first and the last half were two entirely different movies. Thusly, my review will schizophrenically cover the con (the first half) and the pro (the WTF-ery).

Con: The Film’s Jaw-Slackening Interpretation of the Honeymoon

ha ha, i see what u did thar

In the movie, Edward’s use of sex as a weapon to maintain power over and press guilt upon Bella was truly, very seriously disturbing. I had a hard time watching it. I was angry and confused; though some elements from the book were shown accurately, I didn’t recall my overall impression of their honeymoon experience being as awful.

So I decided to go back and check. And I was right—it wasn’t.

In Stephenie Meyers’ Breaking Dawn, the scene after the oh-so-disappointing fade to black was much the same as the post-headboard angst-fest portrayed in the movie (#TeamHeadboard): feathers, bruises, patronizing display of sex guilt by Edward. Then, in both the book and the film, Bella gets a spine (more on Bella’s spine later…) and confronts Edward, telling him he’s ruining her post-coitus buzz: “Actually, I’m really pissed at you.” Good job, Bella!

Bella starts thinking of ways to manipulate Edward into giving human-vamp sexy-time another go. Continued efforts to seduce her stone-cold spouse using French lingerie are true in book and movie. But, in the book,  she offers up as bait the possibility that she might actually go to college for a while and postpone the whole vampire transformation thing. Then, she realizes that’s actually what she wants to do. All right, Bella! College is cool (I’m going to ignore for now that part where Bella says she’ll probably fail and instead of arguing to the contrary Edward just says “I’ll tutor you”)!

Then!

Just as portrayed in the movie, Bella has a dream about sparkle motion with her husband. She wakes up crying and…

I couldn’t tell if he was moved by the tears trembling in my voice, or if he was unprepared to deal with the suddenness of my attack, or if his need was simply as unbearable in that moment as my own. But whatever the reason, he pulled my lips back to his, surrendering with a groan.

And we began where my dream had left off.

They have sex at least twice more during their honeymoon before the whole “demon spawn” thing comes up. The book—and mark your calendars because this is the only time I have ever or will probably ever be able to say this—is much, MUCH more sex-positive than the movie.

In the movie, the moment when Bella wakes to discover that her chess/sex victory was just a cruel dream was legitimately wrenching. And it never got better. Edward withheld, withheld, withheld, and Bella was spun into this horrid microcosm of everything that could get twisted about female sexuality, all in about 15 minutes. First of all, you waited until you got married to get it on, and when you finally got the green light, your vampire now-husband loses control, just like he always said he would. So that makes it your fault! Duh! And, though you feel totally fulfilled and satisfied by the experience, you are wrong to and it can never happen again (while you are human). WOW! I’m sure glad they toned down the thrusting to make this pic PG-13 because I can’t think of a more positive message to send young girls! HURRAY.

And coming on the heels of all of that was the seriously uncomfortable LACK of conversation about whether or not to abort the half-vamp baby. In the book all of this was talked to death! It was confusing and weird because the kid was … well, no one knew what it was, but at least in the book we heard everyone defend their side. Somehow the movie’s “don’t just call it a fetus” line and other brief attempts at discussion didn’t suffice.

/haterade.

 The Pros: Everything Insane in One Hour

So, I was feeling quite sketchy about the movie thus far. (Though the quick succession of gratuitous ab shot and Charlie and his Rainier Beer scene [and Charlie watching a University of Washington football game!!] was an excellent way to start the movie, as it meant two drinks from my liquor-enhanced Dr Pepper.) The middle sagged with the weight of CGI wolves and their lupine thespianism. Just, what? I saw plenty of acting-in-jorts in New Moon and it’s impossible to overstate how much I would have preferred a lumber yard scene with some emoting abs over weird, Ent-like echoing voices.

He always looked so alarmed.

But then, coming to lighten the mood as reliably as a Bluth family chicken dance, came Jasper. Here’s how you infuse some humor into your movie about vampire cesarian sections and pedowolves: give JBone* any line. Any line at all. Because his simple “Not YET!” cracked up 200 people in my theater for a solid minute.

And, after all that anticipation, I was baffled to learn that Edward didn’t Google anything—he used Yahoo! Search, like approximately no one else in the 21st century. Though maybe it shouldn’t surprise me to see him using the computer like the technologically-challenged old-world geezer that he is.

So, remember how I said it felt like two movies? Let’s say the first one was something inane, sappy, and with questionable moral content. Like, a Nicholas Sparks movie. The second one was a terrifying horror film where everyone is covered in blood and it gets to the point where you have no clue who you’re actually rooting for. Like ALIEN. (Sorry in advance for that link.)

Watching Bella’ disintegrating physical form was worse than watching that chick from The Ring crawl out of the television. The makeup during that progression was so well done, it almost made up for the last three movies of dime-store wigs and un-dyed eyebrows. (Almost.) Then, the moment when Edward was all “let me pour this human blood into a styrofoam cup so you can pretend it’s just something I picked up at Sonic!” was freaking priceless.

OMG I love you. NO NOT YOU, fugly Jace. NEVER YOU.

The only thing I have to say about the imprinting is: This and this just made my life. But flashing FORWARD during the imprint sequence to a future Renesmee in an effort to somehow make the falling-in-love-with-a-baby thing less grotesque? That was a cop-out, Billy Condon, and you know it. Look at your source material. Look at your choices. Embrace. (Condon certainly didn’t shy away from that whole thing where THE BABY BROKE BELLA’S BACK. What has been seen can never be unseen.)

And I thought RPatz did a decent job at staring, unseeing, into the dark wooded abyss as it dawned on him that Jacob was going to bone his daughter. (And oh yeah, at that moment he thought his wife was dead.) That was … intense. (KINDA LIKE ALIEN. IT WAS ALL SUSPENSE AND TERROR GUYS)

And the “extra scene”? Possibly the best part of the movie. I mean, let’s be honest. What do you think I would do if I was immortal and drunk with power and couldn’t go out in the sunlight? I’ll tell you what—I would mock my minions’ spelling and grammar and cackle as they were dragged to their death, just like Michael Sheen. And that scene alone gave me hope for what is to come in Breaking Dawn II: Just Exactly What The Hell is Going to Happen.

WOW. So what about you guys?? Did you see it? Did you hate it so much you loved it, or vice versa? What are we going to do until NEXT November?!

*Nickname courtesy of Kate Hart

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Looking Forward to Breaking Dawn

by sarahenni on November 18, 2011

Today is the day, my friends. Breaking Dawn, the penultimate chapter of Le Saga Vampîre, is upon us. Twi-hards rejoice, casual fans giggle, and haters, well.

By now we are all familiar with the story, but it has yet to be seen how Summit and Bill Condon will handle the WTF-ery that is the plot of Breaking Dawn. Throwing an extra curveball into the whole formula is the fact that the book is being broken into two parts. Which cliffhanger will they go with to end BD1? The birth, the imprinting, the vampire transformation? And, tantalizingly, what is the extra scene Peter Faccinelli is talking about??

I was talking with Bestie Danielle, who will be accompanying me to see this glorious landmark of 21st century film, and we decided to outline the things that we are eagerly awaiting/desperately afraid of from Breaking Dawn.

The Wedding

 Me:  so apparently the wedding is ONE FULL HOUR.

Danielle:  SNOOZE

Lycanthrope, please. My own (REAL LIFE) wedding lasted like 20 minutes. At my wedding everyone was waiting for the open bar. At this wedding, I think you know what we’re all waiting for, and it isn’t a glimpse of that fugly ring.

Sparkle motion, people.

That, and perhaps an explanation of how someone whose abs were so gratuitously airbrushed just a year ago can have such a legitimately muscular back? Is this a STUNT DOUBLE? Or did Kellan Lutz actually mean it when he said he’d get RPatz off the couch for this one?

Speaking of people working out. I’ve also heard that Jacob’s washboard abs get flashed within the first five minutes, which is a good idea considering how long we’re going to have to suffer through these interminable nuptials. That leads us into the other thing that Danielle and I spent a good amount of time discussing…

That Whole ‘Imprinting’ Thing

I’m going to quote Danielle directly from our gchat conversation, because I was falling all over my desk laughing so hard.

Hold on to your bonnets ladies, and get ready to swoon! And by “ladies” I mean “babies.” And by “bonnets” well, I really do mean bonnets. We all know that Jacob has a type, and we think they heart him right back. But you know. It’s hard to know for sure. Since his type is babies.

The thing I’m looking forward to the most, friends? Can I be honest? Is the moment—the exact screen shot—when Taylor Lautner (God love him) has to give a hard stare right into the camera and convince us, the audience…

That he is falling madly in love with A BABY.

That .gif, my friends? Once the internet provides it to me? That .gif might as well be in my email signature block. I am going to have it as a moving background on my phone. It’s going to be EVERYWHERE.

Because seriously, WHAT? How can you ask anyone to do that? To make that convincing? Can you imagine what was going through that poor boy’s head while shooting that scene? “What’s my motivation? THE BABY?”

The Answer to the Question: What DID Edward Google??

Just saw preview for Breaking Dawn that featured Edward, like, Googling "Vampire Fetuses." I WILL NEVER SURVIVE THIS MOVIE. #BreakingRachel
@LadyHawkins
LadyHawkins

Like, Jacob is all, "VAMPIRE BB WTF??" and Edward goes, "I've been researching legends." Cut to him on his computer. Me: *is dead of laughs*
@LadyHawkins
LadyHawkins

The hilarious Rachel Hawkins was the first to note this ridiculousness, and it spawned the crazy funny (and not entirely SFW) hashtag #WhatEdwardGoogled. I mean, Bella did use Google to discover what Edward was in the first movie, so maybe they’re going for consistency?

But I know that when I see this happen on the big screen, I’m going to be drowning my chuckles in spiked Dr Pepper because that one made the drinking game like, instantly.

The Obligatory Shot of Charlie Drinking Rainier

 Me:  You know what I’m looking forward to?
 Danielle:  Rainier beer?

Guys, this is seriously one of my favorite things about the entire movie series. And Charlie doesn’t joke around with Rainier, either. He’ll take it in a can, and he wants a tall boy.

What about you?? What are you looking forward to? What are you dreading like a Cullen dreads Volturi? When are you going to see it??

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Eclipse

by sarahenni on November 15, 2011

We’re here, people. Breaking Dawn Part I, a film of gratuitous vamp-boning, sparkling, and supernatural procreation, IS ALMOST HERE. I have my ticket and Jacob can’t even keep his shirt on he’s so excited.

So in the build-up to the WEDDING OF THE CENTURY OMG I thought I’d repost my thoughts (edited by current me) on the most recent in Le Saga Vampîre*, ECLIPSE.

So! I went to go see Eclipse yesterday with pretty high hopes, especially based on Myra McEntire’s enthusiastic vlog review. But I’m not so sure the movie lived up to it for me (sad face). I went to see it in downtown D.C. and the audience was made up of exclusively other adult women that had come straight from work. I totally loved that, but it did mean that there were bouts of giggles during scenes where the intent was for us to swoon.

(I’m seeing Breaking Dawn at a theater that’s within half a mile of a 1,700-student high school, so the experience should be more “authentic.” And awesome.)

First, the Cons.

Chemistry. Say what you will about the original film or New Moon, but I thought both of those movies did a great job showcasing chemistry between Kristin Stewart and her dudes. This movie kind of took it for granted and moved right into the action. (And the opening meadow scene didn’t count as building chemistry, did it? Because it was strange, right? … No? Just me?)

Here is my list of people in the film that had more compelling chemistry than KStew + RPatz, or KStew + Taylor Lautner (do we not have an annoying but awesome nickname for him yet? Tautner? TLaut?):

  1. Kristin Stewart and Billy Bud as Charlie.
  2. Jessica and Mike. Seriously.
  3. Emily and Bella.
  4. Jacob and Seth Clearwater (OMG who was that kid he was ADORABLE)
  5. Edward and Jacob, in the tent. *fanfic explosion*

Wardrobe. Okay, this makes me a weird nerd. But I thought Tish Monaghan did a stellar job in New Moon. Edward’s suit was divine, Jacob wasn’t wearing anything, and I even loved the funky wool mittens Bella had. In this movie, the wardrobe made people seriously disappear.

Sorry, what was that? I was busy staring into the middle distance.

How could someone do that to R Patz? While I was watching this scene, I could seriously only think, “please take off that ill-fitting v-neck sweater immediately.” (And not just because I am always thinking about R Patz taking off his shirt. I swear.)

"I just can't get enough of you in plaid."

The Bella and Edward “will they or won’t they” scene might have been hot, but the professional adult women in my theater audience were giggling like fifth graders throughout (myself included). Again, suspending judgment until I see the movie a second time.

The Flashbacks. Did we need them all? I submit, no. No we did not.

Also, I really missed Rachelle Lefevre. Bryce Dallas Howard wasn’t bad, but Rachel gave Victoria this badass attitude, even when she didn’t speak a word. She made Victoria compelling somehow, in a way that I thought was missing in ECLIPSE. It bums me out that she was deprived of the movie where Victoria actually, you know, does stuff.

Pros!

  • Bella punching Jacob’s face and breaking (or spraining) her hand. Perfection.
  • Jacob and Bella’s second kiss.
  • Dakota Fanning. Always, always, even with her unfortunate unmatching eyebrows.
  • Billy Bud, always. (And he was drinking Rainier again, YES. SCORE FOR THE NORTHWEST.)
  • The script nods to the audience. (Jacob to Edward: “I’m hotter than you.” Edward: “It isn’t all about me?”)

Myra was right– Alice’s overall appearance was much improved. And I liked getting to hear/see Jasper more, but good Lord almighty, I can’t tell if he is a poor actor of they are just trying REALLY HARD to make him be awkward all the time. He is even FROM THE SOUTH, but with this and True Blood it’s becoming clear that southern accents and vampires don’t mix very well.

The fight scene was pretty spectacular. And Victoria’s killing? AMAZING.

Also, all the “third wife” stuff was way better in the movie than in the book.

WHAT ELSE, guys? Any other impressions from watching the movie more than once? And what are you eagerly anticipating in BREAKING DAWN?!

*Okay, I embellished a bit. There's no circumflex over the i in the French word for vampire, (which is just plain 'ol vampire). Just tryin' to fancy the 'ol blog up a bit!

{ 13 comments }

What Your Favorite Harry Potter Movie Says About You

by sarahenni on November 7, 2011

Over the ten years that the Harry Potter films were released, the franchise had four different  directors and an ever-evolving take on the world J.K. Rowling created. Just as almost every Harry Potter die-hard can point to their favorite book, many have one movie that stands out among the rest.

But which film best captured Harry, Hogwarts, and the magical showdown between the righteous and the snake-loving for you indicates more than just how tolerant (or not) you are of overly-long Englishmens’ mops. Read on and don’t be alarmed if I’m more accurate than Professor Trelawney with a gazing ball.

The Sorcerer’s Stone

Generally, you prefer beginnings. They’re filled with such hope! Such promise! Endings can just be so…complicated. No amount of sub-standard CGI or stilted child acting can get in the way of what you really love—the fantastic, magical story. And, your love of Sir Richard Harris is only matched by your hankerings for chocolate frogs.

The Chamber of Secrets

You are Christopher Columbus’ mother.



The Prisoner of Azkaban

You are, on the whole, a big fan of film. (Also, you refer to movies as ‘film.’) You probably thought Harry should die at the end of the series, and may have cackled while reading Rowling’s recent comments on the fate of Ron Weasley. You’ve though too much a lot about what life at Hogwarts would REALLY be like (and should probably read The Magicians, if you haven’t already). You are deeply in love with Gary Oldman, and you shipped Sirius and Lupin back when it was a raft.

The Goblet of Fire

You love a good action sequence, but also have an appreciation for the dry humor and sweater-vest choices by Neville Longbottom. You found the soft-core hate between Durmstrang, Beauxbâtons, and Hogwarts hilarious. If you aren’t already, you’ve thought about joining your local quidditch team. In your opinion, The Beatles were just not shaggy enough. You’d welcome Viktor to Durm your Strang anytime. You sort of love to hate Harry sometimes, and may or may not have shipped Harry and Hermione in the past. When Cedric Diggory was chosen as Edward Cullen you had to explain to all your friends who RPatz was. Also, you’ve been known to dance like a crazy elf.

The Order of the Phoenix

Uncomplicated characters bore the crap out of you, and you have a distaste for authority. You can’t get enough of the Harry/Voldemort psychological parallel. You have total Schadenfreude when it comes to fictional characters, and love when things get downright terrible (related: The Empire Strikes Back is your favorite Star Wars movie). You used to crush on Snape the most, but Voldemort has officially taken over as your romanticized villain. You like your stories like you like your below-the-floorboard electrical wiring—dark and twisted.

The Half-Blood Prince

In your opinion, people who haven’t read the books have no business seeing the movie. Severus Snape owns your heart. But you’re more interested in his tortured and confusing inner life (and Alan Rickman’s laconic, impeccable pauses) than his ultimate redemption. Your other favorite genre is dystopian. You don’t have a problem with the film-makers adding new scenes or omitting large parts of the story, since film is another medium entirely. In your book, it’s about time that Ron Weasley got some already. You enjoy DRad lolz. Also, you ship yourself with Draco Malfoy.


The Deathly Hallows: Part I

Sometimes, you think the movie versions of the books should never have been made. You’re into slower, character-driven books and movies, and looking back you think your favorite part about the HP series was watching Harry, Ron, and Hermione’s relationship mature and grow. You crush hardest on Hermione. The mythology of the HP universe is fascinating to you, and if it were possible to read Hogwarts: A History, you totally would.

The Deathly Hallows: Part II

It doesn’t have to be happy, sad, or clean, but you like resolutions, and tend to enjoy the last movie in a series. (Historical war films also float your boat.) Also SNAPE & LILY = TEARS FOREVER. You can’t get enough derring-do in sweater vests and love a good ugly duckling story. You look forward to reunions, and have known to be very nostalgic, and oh yeah have you gotten your Pottermore email yet? Also, you have a rockin’ Butterbeer recipe for the DVD release party (ready for the drinking game).

{ 42 comments }

A YA Halloween: Isabelle Lightwood

by sarahenni on October 27, 2011

This idea might be perfect for next year, when The Mortal Instruments movie is either out already, or being heavily promoted. But now it’s a fun one for those YA fans in the know that would enjoy An Evening of Goth, complete with whip. (Though technically Isabelle is more elegant/glam/goth, so I think you’d be safe adding some fancy vestements from your own wardrobe.) Also not pictured—a Henna tattoo kit to give your arms badass Shadowhunter marks.

Isabelle from The Mortal Instruments

 


{ 6 comments }

A YA Halloween: Bella Swan

by sarahenni on October 26, 2011

Yes it’s the obvious choice, but with Breaking Dawn (Part I)’s opening weekend just a few weeks away, the timing is right for a Bella Swan costume (and I never get tired of seeing the accompanying guy outfit, ever). And the great part about dressing as Bella? She wears pretty normal stuff. In fact, the wardrobe design from the movies is—for me—one of the more positive things to come out of Twilight generally, and the movies especially. (Female gaze and all that.)

So indulge! Celebrate the silly awesomeness of Twilight and grab whatever you need to make this perfect last-minute costume work to hilarious effect. (Also I just really, really want that FORKS T-shirt.)

Bella

 


Long sleeve shirt
$7.99 - alloy.com

Cotton t shirt
$20 - amazon.com

Barbour jacket
barbour.com

Nike shoes
$48 - zappos.com

ALDO metal ring
$9.98 - aldoshoes.com

Metal ring
$9.99 - modcloth.com

Necklace
fashionology.nl

Heart necklace
16 - amazon.co.uk

Ugo Cacciatori silver ring
€406 - lindestore.com

essie nail color, wicked
$8 - macys.com

{ 8 comments }

The True Friendship Test

by sarahenni on October 14, 2011

Me: Danielle—POP QUIZ

Danielle: yo yo.

Me: name 5 harry potter spells off the top of your head.

Danielle: avada kedavra.
I’m a bad person for that being #1

Me: HAHAHA

Danielle: Accio.
Wingardium Leviosa

wingardium leviosa

Me: damn
pulling out the O.W.L. level shit
3 more!

Danielle: bombarda
that’s the one in chamber of secrets
when hermoine blows up the door to get what’s his face out

bombarda

Me: This has been confirmed by the Harry wiki: “Bombarda is a spell that provokes small explosions.”

Danielle: I always remember that one bc emma watson looks like such a BAMF when she does it
lucio?
the light one

Me: nah that’s lumos right?

Danielle: I think that was 5
lumos!
that’s what I meant
you know where I was going

Me: well that’s 3.5 then*

Danielle: avada kedavra, accio, wingardium leviosa, bombarda, and lumos

Me: OH I forgot accio
YAY!
you pass the friendship test

Danielle: HA
expecto patronum and expelliarmus are probs the important ones to remember
but the killing one is what I remember first.
there’s a psych test in there somewhere.

Me: that’s like the Rosarch test of the magical world.

* Oh, the maths.

{ 17 comments }